I entered retreat under H. E. Khentse Rinpoche at his retreat center near Bihar, India, about one day’s journey from Bodh Gaya. In retreat, of course, you concentrate all your time and energy, without exception, on purifying your obscurations – on clearing away or cutting through whatever is keeping you from recognizing your true nature. There was intense meditation and study all day, and even at night we engaged in dream yoga practice, so really not a moment was wasted. I will always remember my three-year retreat as being one of the very best times of my entire life, because not only did I have many wonderful dharma experiences, but also, during that time, there were hardly any opportunities to upset other sentient beings because I was not allowed to interact with anyone outside of my fellow retreatants.

Certainly retreat can seem lonely from an outsider’s point of view. You spend nearly 24 hours a day in your cabin. And even within your cabin, most of your time is spent inside your “box.” The only people you see are other retreatants and the cooks, who are your only contact whatsoever with the outside world. There are obviously no phones, TVs, restaurants, bills to pay, friends to gossip with, or leaky roofs to fix. With these distractions gone, the only thing left to face is the greatest, and really, the only true obstacle: your own monkey mind.

Early in my retreat I experienced great difficulty. There was a very strict and structured schedule of group and individual practices, as well as many new texts and practices to learn. I struggled with my physical body a bit as well – my knees and legs hurt from sitting cross-legged so much. Eventually, though, my body adjusted and began to deeply relax. As my body relaxed, and as worldly distractions faded, retreat began to feel like a great rest after a long, tiring struggle. Additionally, I was fortunate to be in retreat with several great practitioners that had themselves been in retreat for as many as thirty or forty years. It was from these amazing beings that I drew much inspiration and motivation.

As my hair grew, so did my wisdom and insight. One thing I know for sure: if I hadn’t entered retreat I certainly wouldn’t be the gentle, jolly person that I am described as being today. That intensive practice deepened my patience and purified my negative emotions in a way I never would have understood before retreat. In fact, I so enjoyed my retreat that, as soon as I was finished, I was ready to return for a second term had I not been authorized and sent to the west by H.H. Karmapa.