Transforming Suffering into Joy
by Lama Kathy Wesley

Turning suffering into joy is not a flip-switch procedure; it's a journey, a process, an education!

A way to begin is by realizing that clinging to happiness--- and clinging to suffering -- makes suffering worse.

Here is an example: You receive a gift that you really, really like -- and then lose it. Clinging to the gift -- and making your happiness (and/or your self-identity) depend on its presence in your life -- makes losing it all the harder. One Tibetan teacher actually said that clinging to anything -- people, places, things, etc. -- destroys our enjoyment of those things, because we are always in fear of losing them.

As for the other situation, that of clinging to suffering, here's another example: Somebody calls you a name and says hurtful things. You cling to the suffering by continually replaying the incident in your mind, trying to figure out a way to change the ending of the story. Perhaps you replay other similar events in your mind, working on a grudge against the person who caused the harm -- or a grudge against yourself, for being a victim. Clinging to the suffering -- and making your self-identity dependent on its presence in your mind -- makes it even more painful.

So, first we have to recognize that clinging is destroying our enjoyment of life and make the resolution that we will try to change that behavior.

We can start each day saying, "today I will tame my clinging," and then, when clinging (either to happiness or suffering) comes up in our minds, we remind our self of our promise and use a reliance and a remedy to help us deal with it.

Our reliance can be on a higher power -- which for Buddhists could be a Buddha (like Shakyamuni, Amitabha or Maitreya), or bodhisattva (like Tara or Chenrezig or Manjushri) who we feel particularly close to. We visualize them in front of us or above us in space, and form a strong prayer to them for their help with the situation.

Then we can apply a remedy -- such as the recitation of the Refuge prayer (because when we cling, we are "taking refuge" in something worldly that will only chain us more strongly to samsara and its sufferings, and when we pray, we are "taking refuge" in that which transcends samsara) or the mantra of Chenrezig (OM MANI PAYMAY HUNG) or the mantra of Tara (OM TARAY TUTARAY TURAY SO HA), having the firm confidence that reciting the mantra disperses the suffering -- both of ourselves and all sentient beings who are suffering in the universe right now.

We also can do quiet meditation, following the breath and continually "letting go" of the disruptive mind state; or we can do the meditation of Tong Len (or sending and receiving), in which we breathe in the suffering (not just of our own situation, but of all beings who are suffering) and breath out happiness (not just to ourselves, but to the whole universe).

Or we can do The Prayer of Tong Len, in which we think, "May all the suffering of all beings as vast as space be contained in this suffering of mine, and through my suffering, may all beings as vast as space be freed from suffering and its causes. May all beings come to Buddhahood."

Sometimes, we will have to use several remedies, one after the other, in our attempt to tame the suffering we are experiencing. In the end, we may only be able to use the Aspiration for Overcoming Bad Circumstances spoken by the Dharma Lord Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso:

Over time, if we apply this program of change with diligence, we will be able to confront and transform any emotional state without blindly suppressing it or blindly expressing it.

Like any change, it takes time to turn suffering into joy. But once we gain proficiency in the technique, we can actually look at suffering as a chance to apply our remedies and our practice - and not as something we must avoid at all costs. That attitude in itself is joy, as we joyfully apply ourselves to our resolutions and reliances and remedies and transform suffering into happiness.

In addition, it also can help us to learn about the Buddhist teachings on emptiness, in which we learn that all states of mind -- happiness, suffering, and so forth -- are merely fleeting illusions based on reactiveness and habit, and that the basic nature of our mind -- clarity, limitlessness, sanity and goodness -- underlies *all* thoughts and emotions. With proper training and diligent practice, we eventually can use our emotional states to bring about deep insight and the experience of our most basic nature.